I remember when Resident Evil 7 was announced, I was experiencing a very stressful state. On the one hand, I was very excited about the announcement and the trailer, on the other hand, the reception of this event was very negative in the community. A person's feelings cannot be ambivalent, that is, we cannot be happy and sad at the same time, so I was torn apart from not knowing what I should feel.
When the storm subsided a little, before the release of the game and after it, I remember this disgusting feeling of irritation because of how fans of titles such as Resident Evil 6 almost every day tried to prove why the new game is bad, and insulted those who disagree with them, including me. As a result, I began to project my negative attitude towards such fans onto Resident Evil 6 itself, despite the fact that I liked the game in 2013. I began to hate it.
And I started forming arguments why Resident Evil 7 is better at this and that. I started living in this bubble of my own, where there are only right criteria and game design, and there are wrong ones, although in reality developers are not dependent on this binary thinking. And this shit deformed me a lot, because I became more aggressive as a person.
But at some point I realized one thought. I'm unhappy because I can't control the world around me. Because I can't control the information around me. And I will never be able to change people's feelings and their ability to write what they want, whether it's something reasonable or absurd. I will not change those whose opinion is different, or some stupid people who deeply believe in misinformation and call you an idiot, even if you give them a source. And if I had such power, would it be right to encroach on someone's freedom, even if I desperately believe that this person is wrong? I answered myself in the negative.
Therefore, in order to get rid of frustration, I decided that I had to change myself and my attitude to the world. I had to accept that people might hate something or have some other point of view that I might not understand.
And to do this, I needed to realize the reason for this driving force, which makes me argue with people, because I can't just pretend that I don't care. If a video game satisfies me for a number of reasons so that I find it enjoyable, there shouldn't be a single reason why I have to prove something to someone. Will my experience with the game change if some Joe treats it better? I don't think so.
So it seems to me that the real reason why I was trying to prove something to someone was related to how I was looking for validation for myself. I wanted to live in a fairytale world where Resident Evil 7 is objectively and legitimately a great game, but that's not how art and people's experiences actually work. It took me a long time to realize that any opinion is based on different criteria that are important to this or that person. This is an axiom. And the moment you start believing that one type of game design is objectively better than another, you become part of a culture and a paradigm within which each person, having their own opinion, will prove why their views are more objective.
I've been part of this trap for a long time and projected so much onto Resident Evil 7 that I perceived any negativity towards this game as a personal attack. But my feelings are my feelings, and the game itself, as well as the people who talk about it, are completely separate from everything that happens in my head.
When you realize that a video game is just a program created by people you really don't know, and the people who write words about it are dudes you don't even remember tomorrow, all these keyboard wars just lose all meaning. And even hating something becomes useless.
And then I became afraid that I was spending an awful lot of time on meaningless things when I could have done something useful with my life. For example, to acquire skills that would be useful to me in the future. This is not why the first person is suitable for horror games that I will have to tell my grandchildren.