The film came out today in Sydney so Enetirnel and I caught the first screening. They only had one showing in 2D so we had to pay for the 3D version.

I have to say that this is without a doubt the silliest entry in the movie saga. Hard to believe I can call it a saga now, but it is what it is. We're past that point now as far as hating on these movies for existing. If you're still worked up about them at this rate then just do not go and see this one. Nothing about it will sway your opinion that the movies are terrible. Hell, I knew this movie was going to be a piece of shit and I still saw it anyway. Worst case scenario is that I have fun riffing on the cheesy Hollywood bastardization that is the Milla Jovovich Chronicles. But even then, I had no idea just how much of a gem this would truly be.

[I DID MENTION SPOILERS. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED.]

OK, so let me start off by saying that if you saw the previous movies already then there is no reason to stay for the duration of the first five minutes. The opening segment is a "reverse scene" of how Alice, the main character of the movie series, gets to the point she's in now. It's done in slow motion and just filed to create artistic drivel on the running time of what will already be a short movie. The credit sequences name off the actors that specifically play video game characters (ex: Sienna Guillory as Jill Valentine, Kevin Durand as Barry Burton). The next scene is the opening recap where Alice talks through a camera about the previous movies. No kidding. On the fifth entry she summarizes all the movies again about working for Umbrella, at the hive, virus gets out, people died, they didn't stay dead, she gets out, meets Jill, captured by Umbrella, experimented on, virus takes over the world, she finds experiments, meets new survivors, goes to take out Umbrella, ends up on Arcadia, assaulted by Umbrella again. Oh, and she also mentions that Jill was captured by Umbrella and brainwashed. So she's known about it for some time apparently. Also when they make reference to Red Queen we see a new design for her. No more does she look like this:



Now she looks like this:



Then we go straight back to the scene they did a slow-mo reversal on. It plays out normally. Alice fights Jill briefly and during an explosion she sinks into the ocean.

Next scene is Alice waking up in a suburban home. Her hair is longer and dyed. Her husband is Carlos Olivera and their deaf daughter is named Becky (My fiance and I jokingly referred to her as 'Becky Chambers'). Might I remind you she's deaf? They do talk sign with her, and as far as I can tell this is all just a character trait because it serves nothing to the movie. Anyway las plagas undead (they are actually called that in the movie) begin to raid their house. They kill Carlos. Alice and Becky run out of the house and look at the chaos outside. Turns out this area is seemingly part of Raccoon City. Rain shows up and offers them a ride in her car.

Now for those that didn't follow up on this, I'll just briefly say that there are clones being made of characters who were dead in the previous movies. Alice has been cloned, and Umbrella (for whatever reason) decided to clone Rain (turned into a zombie and killed in the first film), Carlos (infected and blew himself up in the third film) and One (the cool Umbrella guy who was sliced by lasers in the first one).

With that out of the way, we go back to the scene. Rain drives informing them about the zombies. The car crashes so Alice and Becky run back to their house. Rain is left behind. As Alice heads back to the house, she leaves Becky in the closet and goes to fight a zombie. Then zombie Carlos shows up and uses the mandibles from the plagas to presumably kill Alice.

Next Alice wakes up in an Umbrella facility. She's in a skimpy, revealing little hospital gown. Now for those of you that watch these and expect nudity, I'll spare you from guessing and say that the answer is no. You don't get to see Milla naked. I acknowledge all the Umbrella logos everywhere. Here, Alice is being interrogated by Jill who is watching her from above. Jill is asking her questions like who she is working for and why she left Umbrella. When she doesn't get an answer she sets off this annoying sound that makes Alice collapse. It's actually quite amusing.

Next Alice is given a battle suit of her own and sent through a trial of sorts. She's lead through a lit hallway into a new area. Jill orders to have a laser grid sweep the area. Alice notices one and runs from it to what appears to be Tokyo. There she witnesses first hand all the people gathering around. Then the opening scene from 'Afterlife' plays out as a J-pop singer attacks and creates the outbreak. Alice runs from them to a new hallway that opens up and has a stylized slow-mo fight with them using a chain and a police officer's gun.

She kills them all and then ventures further into a testing area where she finds a bunch of Umbrella soldiers gunned down. As she goes to collect weapons a woman holds her at gunpoint and we have a RE4 reference as Alice gets the drop on Ada Wong using a knife.

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b2x5GcOqsGg[/youtube]

Alice knows who she is. Ada Wong worked for Umbrella as a top agent for Albert Wesker. So Alice asks why she should let her live. Ada says that she no longer works for Umbrella and neither does Wesker. Right after that she sets up a communications link between them and Wesker. Alice isn't even surprised to find out he's still alive. Given how you can go from RE1-Code Veronica and find out he's alive with no actual reason to it unless you own Wesker's Report or Umbrella Chronicles I'm going to let this one slide. Most people figured he was alive anyway because of a faint object at the end of 'Aftlerlife' that looked like a parachute. You win this round Anderson.

Wesker says that Red Queen is controlling Umbrella ( I thought Red Queen was fried at the end of the first one, but oh well there's clones of dead people walking around, whatever, fine). Alice is "humanity's only hope" and she's trapped underwater in a Russian Umbrella base (I think because the setting moves around a lot). With the help of Luther West (the NBA survivor from 'Afterlife') Wesker has a strike team that consists of Barry Burton and Leon S. Kennedy helping Luther recover Alice and Ada. The mission is to get them out of the base and to the surface. Problem is they have to get past the Red Queen and B.O.W. contained within the facility. So we're somewhat dealing with the plot of the first movie. Only instead we have clones. Luther, Leon, Barry, and two other guys make up the strike team. They enter the base and already run into B.O.W.s

Ada and Alice are now in a 'test' in the form of New York. To sell samples to people all around the world (like nuclear missiles) Umbrella recreated locations, filled them with clones, and spread the virus out to show the leading figures what this biohazard can do. Red Queen releases two RE5 executioners on Ada and Jill. They fight it out and eventually get both of them down with gas explosions and the like. Then they make their way to the suburbs of Raccoon City. Here they manage to find the dead Alice clone we saw in the beginning. The 'daughter' Becky finds Alice and Ada and assumes it's her mom. Ada explains that the memories are imprinted and none of it real. Alice decides to hide the truth and pretend to be Becky's mom. So she's watching another little girl. Whatever happened to Angie from the second film anyway? It's not like they're following the books. Oh well. As they leave they find Jill with "evil" clones of Rain, Carlos, and One. There's a big fight afterwards with Ada giving them her gadgets and buying time for them to escape as she seemingly dies (although we later see that she avoids an explosion from within the house). There's a nice reference where Ada has a grapple gun that she gives to Alice as well as her spy sunglasses that have a map layout. She previously used her grapple gun to kill an enemy by impaling an Umbrella soldier with the grapple and reeling him in.

Alice and Becky find the "good" Rain clone and together they go off and hide. "Good "Rain is rather enjoyable I have to say. Michelle Rodriguez is known for her tough roles and here she acts the most feminine. She hates guns and jokes about how Alice is dressed in an "S&M" getup. Rain and Becky stay hidden while Alice looks for the strike team. In the Moscow setting, we see the two expendable characters of the team get killed. One dies from a chainsaw zombie. The other one named Sergei (no relation to the game character, but just an FYI) is killed from a giant licker. Alice shows up with a getaway vehicle and escapes with the rest of the team. Luther briefly catches up with Alice and there's a chase scene involving chainsaw zombies on motorcycles as well as the giant licker. It's fun to see Leon and Barry shoot these zombies following behind especially when Barry goes to his magnum. Eventually they escape and reunite with 'good' Rain and Becky.

The moment doesn't last however as the giant licker managed to follow and in one fell swoop he claws Barry's face while throwing back 'good' Rain so hard she breaks her neck. The giant licker grabs Becky with its tongue and claws away. Alice chases after it despite Leon's protests. Leon, who is widely known for saving women of all ages, is against the idea of going after Becky. That is freaking hilarious. He stays behind. Luther wants to come, but he gets shot and wounded by the evil clone squad lead by Jill Valentine. Leon and Barry hold them off as Alice makes her way to the giant licker. In 'Alien' fashion we see that the licker keeps its pray in cocoon pods. Alice fights the giant licker again using Ada's grapple gun to maneuver above it and shoot it in the brain. Then she frees Becky. They find more clones being produced. Even Alice ones. Becky learns the truth that Alice isn't her real mom, but Alice assures her that she is now.

Meanwhile, down below the fight continues between the game characters. Barry tells Leon to take Luther and go while he buys them time. I have to say I rather like the Leon/Barry team up. Brings fond memories of......



Well Leon says his goodbye and takes off with Luther. Now what I'm about to tell you is important. It is by far the greatest moment in the film franchise and quite possibly the best scene I've ever had the privilege of watching in the movie. Barry is egging on the clone squad. They pull out Ada Wong who got captured by them and threaten to shoot her if he doesn't come out and surrender. Barry's handgun is out of bullets. His face is bleeding from the claw scratch made by the licker not too long ago.

It's coming.

He pulls out a cigar and lights it up.

It's coming.

Takes a few puffs. and then leans back.

It's coming.

He reaches out for his magnum. Holds it with such care and love.

Time to see the buddy system at work.



Then immediately walks out. Is shot down by One. His magnum flies up in the air. Barry crashes down on his back. As the magnum drops he catches it, reaches back up, and kills One right on the spot. 'evil' Rain and Carlos finish him off sadly. But still. That single moment with Barry and his gun was the best experience I've had from these horrid films.

Once the remaining survivors catch up they escape to the surface fending off against the licker again. With the charges set in place from the strike team prior they blow the place up and the whole facility begins to flood. The clones being produced are destroyed. Jill Valentine and 'evil' Rain barely make it out alive but Carlos drowns in the process.

Leon drives the snowmobile while everyone else relaxes and reflects on what transpired. Suddenly they are turned over by another vehicle. Jill and 'evil' Rain step out with the tied up Ada Wong. Jill is ordered to bring Alice back and kill her if necessary. 'Rain' injects herself with las plagas so she can take on Leon and Luther. They knock out Ada and the final fight begins.

I have to admit that I was rooting for Jill in the clash between her and Alice. I think the audience was doing the same because battle suit Jill was laying the floor with Alice. And with the snowy backdrop and the spaghetti western battle music I was reminded of Kill Bill. Expecting Lucy Liu and Uma Thurman to fight it out. Instead we have Alice and Jill. Jill was winning though. Just beating her to a pulp after the stylized action scenes involving all their weapons and stuff. Meanwhile 'Rain' is fighting the guys. They start off with shooting her multiple times. In RE4 fashion, Rain pulls a Saddler and forces the bullets to drop from her hands (more like her fingertips in this case). She's also much stronger. So strong in fact that she kills Luther from a deadly blow to the chest. As Jill is beating Alice down, she goes in to strangle her. Alice looks at the device on her chest and you can imagine that she goes to rip it off.

Now something bugs me about this. The chest device was obviously a weakness. They establish that in the last movie with Claire. So instead of trying to shoot Jill and stab her I would think Alice would first try to go for the device right off the bat. I guess not... It was a last resort. Well in any case Jill is back to normal. With Luther dead, Rain was ready to kill the rest. Alice notices the ice below with the zombies floating above. Jill throws a gun to Alice. 'Evil' Rain mocks about how she can't be killed with that. Alice instead aims for the ice causing Rain to drop below. She reaches above and says how she will come and find her, but not before being dragged down by hundreds of swimming zombies. Is it the end for her?

Leon frees Ada and there's a tender moment between the two... Awww... A rescue chopper comes along and brings aboard Leon, Ada, Becky, Jill and Alice. There's another tender, but silly moment where Leon rests his hand on Ada's leg, and she stares at him only to take it off. Har, har..... The chopper flies off.



But it's not over yet.

Meanwhile, the White House..... Yes. We're in Washington DC. The survivors arrive and Alice is requested to come alone. The rest sit back. Alice walks in to the Oval Office to find this beautifully hilarious piece of imagery. Something to ridiculous and downright silly that you have to smirk if you're a fan.

People I bring you "President Evil"



It's glorious.

Wesker enjoys his new position and goes to inject Alice with the T-virus. Yes, I'm afraid. He's giving her powers back to her. Alices swears to kill him, and he gleefully welcomes the challenge. But in the meantime they must work together to take out Umbrella controlled by the Red Queen and restore humanity back to the world. The final pan out shot features the top of the White House. Alice is positioned in the middle with Jill and Wesker to her left, and Ada and Leon on her right. It pans out to show the White House at war with all different types of BOWs including giant lickers, zombies and flying plagas creatures we never saw till now.

So that's it. Literally. No Claire or Chris. No scene in the middle or end of the credits. Nothing. A new Re movie will be on its way. This film looks to be filler to set up for a giant brawl with the big major game characters and Alice. I didn't think much of it, but I had a good laugh. I'm not irritated at these films anymore. It's beyond that.

If you have any questions let me know. But otherwise only see the movie if you like:

Barry and his magnum.
Counting how many Umbrella logos you can spot.
Alice getting tortured and beaten up by Jill.
Michelle Rodriguez playing not-too-serious roles.
Ada and Leon cheesiness.
And the idea of Wesker in the White House.

I got to see this last night and I have to say, I thought this film had some laughable moments as well. Nice summary of the movies, though. Spot on.

So they have finally accepted the fact that they are a complete joke?

That's been the case since 'Afterlife'. Executioner walking the streets of LA. Wesker planning to ingest Alice's DNA.

All I can say is that I had a few good laughs this time around.

My friends want to see this movie for the lulz. :|

At least I'm going to have Ada/Leon cheesiness to look out for.

My god I can't wait to see it and laugh my ass off in the cinema.

This is truly hilarious.

:P I got to see it for free the other night and now I have to PAY to see it again tonight with my date.

Any one going to the midnight premier tonight?

I called it. I knew Barry was going to die in this movie. Guess that is why he is not in the future games of Resident Evil. They F-ing killed him in this movie.

Saw it tonight with my buddy. I laughed so hard when wesker gave alice her powers back. I just lost it, I couldn't help it.

Also, when I saw the 'las plagas undead' in their nazi uniforms with those terribly fake rubber masks on, i let out a loud lol as well because it was just that bad.

The whole movie was pretty much THE worst out of all of them. Even Extinction was more coherent than this disaster of a film, but, this film is actually SO bad, it's hilarious, unlike Extinction which was just bad and boring.

The movie makes absolutely no sense at all, has no sense of continuality and just does random shit for the sake of doing it FAR worse than any of the other movies have ever done. The movie is LITERALLY just random set pieces strung together for the sake of large scale ridiculous action scenes with Milla in EVERY fucking scene doing EVERYTHING again, way worse than all the other films.

Last film has Wesker curing Alice of her powers and then wanting to capture and ingest her to control his own mutation. Now all the sudden he apparently has no problem with his mutation anymore, doesn't need her to ingest anymore, and is not working for Umbrella but is a good guy now who re-infects her to help save the world.

And the Red Queen in the first film was the only consistant and logical character in the series as it did everything it did to PREVENT a viral outbreak and stop the spread of the virus and only killed people to prevent them from escaping and spreading the virus. Now all the sudden she's trying to take over the world and outwardly spread the infection everywhere.

It's so much lulz it's hilarious.

Also, with all of that in mind, I want to share some direct quotes from Milla in a recent interview with a brazillion RE site regarding retribution:

Looks like you have all wasted 90 minutes of your lives there. And does this mean Anderson has made Wesker a good guy now?

And that interview extract from Milla is quite incredible and very insulting really.

I honestly believe Capcom detest the live action films they just can't admit it.

I'll wait for the proper RE film sequel on September 24th.